Belief

I met a lady quite by chance in a department store the other day. I was heading towards a lamp I KNEW I should have purchased only the day before; but here I was the next day – making a beeline for it. (Should have followed my gut, right? and saved myself a trip:) The middle aged lady stood browsing in the same area & she was dressed for summer, with a pretty straw hat and carrying an umbrella. I couldn’t help saying with a smile, ‘oh do you know something I don’t?! The temperature was almost 90 degrees. And without missing a beat the lady responded, ‘oh I always carry an umbrella. I’m afraid the sun will thin my hair and it will fall out’. What to say? This is wasn’t what I’d expected. I said, ‘Well I can see how you might think that, but it’s unlikely to happen if you think the opposite’. ‘How’? the lady asked. I went on, ‘Things are more likely to happen if we think they are ‘true’; but say you begin to think that you would be unlikely to loose your hair… then perhaps you could begin to relax about your worry as you change your belief. The lady’s eyes began to fill up and she nodded. This was obviously an emotional issue for her. I told her she didn’t have to continue believing her hair would burn and fall out if she didn’t want to. I said she could try turning her attention away from that very thought each time it entered her mind.

The conversation went on a little and the lady said it was odd that out of all the people, she had met me that morning. I felt the same. Was this a ‘by chance’ encounter? I believe EACH encounter is part of our flow of energy, so ‘chance’? no. Serenpiditious? yes! (See earlier blogs on Serendipity). We parted with a hug and I didn’t see her again.

What are your beliefs? Some of our beliefs are constructive. Believing you are good at what you do. That you are a good person; kind to others and level headed. Perhaps you believe you are creative in whatever field; that you are good at math, baseball or are a born leader. That you are a wonderful parent and a gifted musician. The more profoundly you BELIEVE – whatever it is about yourself, your life, your circumstance – the more likely it is all these things are true for you.

What about the contrary side of belief. There are people who believe that however hard they try – they cannot get ahead. That it’s ‘impossible’ to progress in their chosen field as ‘all the best positions are taken’. Just like ‘all the good men/women are taken’. Some believe that others are lucky – but not them. They believe they are doomed and they’ve been dealt a lousy life hand. Well guess what – if you believe that – it’s more than likely that is the way things will be experienced.

I recently chatted with a talented hair stylist who shared with me his dream to relocate to Cape Town. I felt excited for him, yet sensed there was a ‘but’; an apprehension in his ambition. I asked him what was up. He responded that even though he had lived in several other countries earlier in life, and always found work in his field as a top hair stylist, this time he didn’t know if he could make the leap. The reason – he was now 50 years of age. Firstly I told him that ’60 is the new 40′ and he nodded smiling and said ‘yes, i heard that’. So here was again an example of belief, hindering ambition. What you might call, a self-limiting belief. We discussed on that there was nothing else stopping him apart from this one belief. I told him that when we change our beliefs, we change our lives.

This beautiful and talented man nodded in agreement. Sometimes it takes another person to nudge an individual into peeking out of their box or comfort zone. To break through the loose ties of a belief that have kept us in bondage for very little reason. Will he go to Cape Town? I have no idea. But I do know that the grain of an alternative belief has been planted. Please do not allow a construct such as ‘age’ hinder your dreams. You can reinvent yourselves into whatever you have that desire for – at any age. Don’t have the intention to slow down, take it easy now you’re over 45, wonder what happened to your earlier dreams or figure, ‘it’s all too late’. NO it is never too late! Well it is if you believe it is. And as I have said many times before – change your thoughts (and beliefs), change your life.
Let us remember that we create our lives from the inside. Stop reacting and start consciously creating:)

Quite often a negative belief is self imposed because we absorb from the group consciousness a generalized belief. Such as, ‘age matters – and it’s all about youthfulness’. Well I suppose if you ‘believe’ the almost universal advertising and media system that strongly suggests that under 40 age group have all the vitality, most of the fun and the ability to dream etcetera… it might have an effect over time. But it really doesn’t have to if you begin to reject such generalizations.

Frequently beliefs are imposed on us by family members, teachers, friends, others. It’s easier to reject beliefs as adults if we are aware, but harder as children. I tell my children that they may mentally say, ‘That’s for you – not for me’, if they hear something or are told something they feel is wrong. For example, when a fifth grader, my son attended a birthday party. He hadn’t understood the unusual request from the host father that party boy should NOT be hit by any paintball. Thinking the playing field was even, my son paintballed party boy. Later on the way home, the host father turned to my son and told him ‘YOU are a bad person’. And then proceeded on a tirade ending with him demanding his own son to no longer ‘hang out’ with such a ‘bad person’. My son was too young and too astonished to respond, but he luckily shared the exchange with me a few days later. He was obviously hurt and confused. I told him that this was a time when he should immediately and firmly say to himself, ‘That’s for you – not for me’, and ‘I am a GOOD person’. Sadly this is the type of comment that can impose a self limiting belief on a precious, young mind. Perhaps later ‘forgotten’ by the conscious mind, but never by the powerful subconscious mind that holds every single memory and exchange. You see, a single phrase said and also felt with strong emotion, may have a life long effect on one’s belief about oneself.

You might ask what my response was to host dad at that time. In a nutshell – it is to turn my attention away from that thing, those things I do NOT want in my life. When we dwell and linger on such negative energy – guess what? We are miring ourselves in that like energy. So yes, let’s let it go and focus on the things we WANT. Right?! Besides, as I told my son, what that parent said, says more about him than anything else. And it’s not a bad idea to give others benefit of the doubt. Let’s move on and direct our thoughts to our own Abundance – never mind another’s lack.

For now, I am Sending Love to each and every one of you in the most precious moment that is the NOW. And yes, that includes host dad:) Please Send Love Forward today and give Gratitude. Thank You.

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