One of my children complained that a class mate she didn’t like was placed next to her for the third time in a row – despite the rearrangement of tables and places in her 4th grade class. “So what do you want to do”? I asked. She answered, “I want to tell the teacher that ‘Tom’ is bothering me and I need to move to a different table”.
The problem with this approach in life is You Take Yourself With You. I explained to my disgruntled daughter that if she did manage to leave Tom behind, she would face a similar situation with a different person. In other words, it isn’t Tom (or Dick or Harry), who is the problem – it is yourself.
An adult friend announced she was looking for another job. Her co-worker drove her wild and she could not stand her boss. Do you see the similarity with the first example?.
As we know, school life is but a preparation for adult life. Relationships, situations, circumstances that occur on the school yard replicate themselves in a myriad of ways later in life. If we realize that taking ourselves with us means that we are going to continue in circles, is there a different way forward?
Fortunately there is a way forward and out of the not so merry go round of disgruntlement and annoyance.
As you know by now the premise of this blog is that We Create Our Lives. It isn’t ‘out there’. It’s inside where all our experiences exist and emanate from. If another annoys or irritates you, look no further than your own consciousness to fathom the ‘problem’. Thoughts are energy and vibration, which in turn are as concrete and real as our visible world. Change our thoughts and we change our lived lives and our experience – or perception of it.
See that person you have taken a dislike to? You may not speak to them; you may for courtesy sake (say in the workplace or on the school committee meeting etc), smile and acknowledge them for appearances. But what is your ‘true’ conversation with that person? Be honest and examine the inner dialogue taking place in your mind. The conversation that makes you fume & criticize.
By ALTERING those private thoughts that wind you up that create stress and frustration, you are able to create a more harmonious ENERGY. By the process of imagination and self-talk, create a different dialogue with that person. Imagine what you would like to HEAR. Imagine that you could possible change your perspective of the person in question. Try sending more harmonious thoughts. Sending Love is the most powerful of emotions in transformative thought.
As I have previously written, Sending Love is nothing to do with personal love. I’m not suggesting you are to now make that person your best buddy. I’m suggesting you up end egregious, negative thoughts and emotions to ones that are more neutral and ultimately more beneficial to YOU.
The negative thoughts backed by frustrated, ill-feeling, emotion are returned to you as ENERGY. This does nothing for the pursuit of your ABUNDANT LIFE! It serves only to bring to your door frustration and negativity in other areas of your life. Where is THAT THING you WANT you think. Well, when there is imbalance being played out in one area of your life, you cannot expect for the ABUNDANT LIFE to flow in an entirely other area!
The energy YOU create around you doesn’t exist in compartments! You can’t have your cake and eat it. (I’m sorry – I just HAD to say that). You can’t be saying your affirmations and visualizing all that stuff you want; go to church and be kind to abandoned cats and EXPECT to get what you’ve set your hat at – if your energy is all askew.
Yes, we get frustrated, fed-up with folk, annoyed and so on. Who doesn’t? I get it. We’re humans after all. But in the MAIN – let’s try to at least AIM for harmony, acceptance of others and peace, man:) Let’s try for balance in relationships because those negative inner conversations we have are more likely to harm US rather than the other.
In the example of the adult in the workplace mentioned above, I checked in with her some weeks later following our session. She reported that it had taken a couple of weeks of effort to change the habitual view she’d had of her co-worker. Yes, she had silently Sent Love and positive regard. Yes, she had practiced rehearsing an inner dialogue that was less condemning and more harmonious. After a couple of weeks this young woman had stopped even thinking of her co-worker in negative terms. And the very thought of her co-worker no longer gave her cause for a frown or a knot in the stomach. She was able to focus more on what she wanted rather than what she didn’t want. It so happened that a couple of weeks further, the co-worker was allocated to a different office. My client said that she had wished the very best for her ex co-worker and was relieved she was genuinely able to do do.
As for my fourth grader… I counseled her to Send Love and to appreciate her ‘annoying’ table mate. This advice seemed to irritate the precious darling even more. So I left her to it. Last I heard, young Tom was seated happily on a table, far, far away. Had young daughter taken my advice on board? Who knows. You can take a horse to water, but.. well, you know the rest.
In the spirit of great harmony, I am Sending Love to each and every one of YOU right NOW. Like you all, my own life is a work in progress. Let’s try do our best in harnessing the trajectory of our immensely powerful thoughts and emotions. As we do this, we invite into our lives the richness and ABUNDANCE we all crave and deserve. Please Send Love Forward to fellow travelers today. That includes the annoying, the irritating and those you’ve promised never to speak to again. Thank you!